


Illustrations of a Dream

by FoxRafer



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-14
Updated: 2010-04-14
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxRafer/pseuds/FoxRafer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There's a mention of the violent death of a child; nothing too graphic. Written for <a href="http://asylums.insanejournal.com/chromaticvision/"><b>Chromatic Vision</b></a>. I suppose spoilers for "Heart of Gold" and while this could take place at any time either before or after that episode, in my pollyanna, head in the sand, brain it's an AU from after the BDM and this conversation was still relevant.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Illustrations of a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> There's a mention of the violent death of a child; nothing too graphic. Written for [**Chromatic Vision**](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/chromaticvision/). I suppose spoilers for "Heart of Gold" and while this could take place at any time either before or after that episode, in my pollyanna, head in the sand, brain it's an AU from after the BDM and this conversation was still relevant.

Zoe rarely had trouble finding sleep. But now she stared into the semi-darkness of their quarters, carefully listening to her thoughts. They'd talked about starting a family again today. Or rather Zoe talked and Wash rehashed stale arguments she could recite from memory and was tired of refuting. She knew eventually they'd start making that beautiful baby she was certain they'd have. But she was weary of the discussion, hated even the temporary seed of doubt he always planted in her head. Were they really ready? Was this the right place to begin?

And then she'd seen River, playing what at first seemed like an ancient game from Earth-That-Was, hopping along the catwalk then spinning around and retracing her steps. It reminded Zoe of her childhood playing in ducts and crawl spaces, of fighting pirates down steel passageways. And in her mind Zoe saw her own child, playing tag with Kaylee and River, running through the cargo bay, up and down the stairs.

But now as sleep eluded her, she was surprised that a long ignored memory had come flooding back, a nightmare that forced itself into her waking mind. She'd been almost seven years old that day, their ship docked on some dusty planet to trade with dusty people at some dusty outpost. She remembered an all-encompassing haze, an ash-covered land that made her eyes sting. She was angry with her parents, bored and cranky with the dry never-ending tediousness of the day. But when she caught sight of a little girl several yards away, hopping and skipping in the dirt, Zoe wanted to run over to her, find out what games the girl played in such a monochromatic place. Then sudden shocking splashes of screams and blood-stained earth, and the little girl was gone. No more boring games, no more jumping on the wrong patch of dirt.

Zoe closed her eyes to the memory, focused on the familiar weight of Wash's hand on her hip, on the comforting murmur of _Serenity_ at rest. The steady mechanical hum of the engines, the offbeat clank of a random piston clicking into place, the occasional scrape of metal across metal. She reached out, pressed her palm against the bulkhead behind, felt _Serenity's_ life pulsing beneath her hand, and smiled. Her breathing slowed, her heart synching with the rhythm around her.

She knew they'd have the discussion again, just as much as she knew Wash's hesitance would eventually slide into enthusiasm. They would always be living "deep in the rough and tumble," as Wash was fond of saying, even if they left to find their own way, and there was no place in the 'verse they could guarantee their child's safety. But _Serenity_ was the answer to all the objections. Within these walls, on board this ship, was a rightness of place it was rare to find even once in a lifetime.

Zoe turned onto her side, warmed at the arm that unconsciously wrapped itself around her waist, pulling her closer. She let the white noise, the ever-present movement of the ship, slowly seep into her veins, soothe her from restlessness to sleep.


End file.
